Have you ever heard of the Death Positive Movement? If not, you’re definitely not alone. You might be sat here reading this and scratching your head about what on earth we’re on about, so in this blog post we’ll explain to you what the death positive movement all about and why it could be helpful. So what’s it about? The death positive movement is based on the belief that by not talking about dying and death openly, we are doing our society more harm than good. And let’s face it – death isn’t a topic that usually randomly pops up in day to day conversation, is it? In contrast, people don’t like to talk about death. We all die, but to talk about that and face up to the truth of the matter is deeply uncomfortable for most people, so we keep it behind closed doors, we stuff our fear of death into a deep, dark box and hide it away, never to be discussed willingly again. What do you think about death? When you think of the word death, what words, thoughts and feelings come up? Many people say fear, macabre, cancer, pain, grief… you get the picture. Whatever came up for you, I’m willing to bet that there were little or no comfortable associations. The death positive movement’s purpose is to help to change this. It encourages to talk freely and openly about death, to recognise that talking about death is healthy and even normal, and to lift the taboos around discussing death. According to UrnsOnline.com, “This might include frank discussions about the process of dying, what happens to bodies after death, death rituals and traditions, and options for burial, funerals, and body disposition.” What’s the point of death positivity? Talking openly, with honesty and thought about death, we can help to reduce or even eliminate the fear around death and dying. This, in turn, helps us to make truly informed and satisfying choices around the end of life. It doesn’t just have to be about talking, either. The Death Positive movement encourages us to explore the emotions and fears attached to death through discussion, yes, but also through movement, art, innovation and deliberate learning. Despite what society tells us, it’s not morbid to talk and think about death. We all die one day, none of us are immortal (however if you have unlocked the secret to this, then send it our way! 😉) and it is natural and human to be curious about dying and death. It’s not something we should be hiding away, but rather we should be embracing and satisfying that curiosity, so when the time comes you feel empowered in your own choices either for your own end of life of that of someone you love. What role can funeral directors play in the Death Positive Movement? Funeral directors and funeral homes like us have a role to play in this shifting of attitudes, too. Focussing on family centred funerals, allowing for open and … Read More
How to talk to children about death
Most people find death something that is uncomfortable to talk about, but knowing how to talk to children about death can be particularly difficult. If not done right, it can be a traumatic experience for both the adult and the child taking part in the conversation. You might not have considered the need to discuss death with your child, but unfortunately it is something that they will definitely have to deal with during their life. Whether your child’s first experience with death is that of a much loved pet, a grandparent sibling, parent or friend, you will still need to be prepared for the big conversation. It may be that your child hasn’t experienced the death of someone or something they love before, but they are worried about death in some way. You will still find this article useful if that’s the case for you. It can often be helpful to initiate conversation around death with your child before they experience the death of a loved one. We know it’s not easy, so before you jump in, grab a cuppa then have a read of this blog post to arm yourself with what you need to know about talking to your child about death. Before you start The first thing to remember is that death is a part of life. All living things die eventually. Plants, animals, humans… we all die. We suggest you are as honest as possible while still remaining age appropriate for the child you are speaking with. If you have the opportunity, it’s best to think about what you are going to say and how you are going to say it before the conversation takes place. Consider some of the questions your child might ask you about death and dying (we have listed some examples of questions children ask about death later in this article) and have an answer ready. How you answer may depend on your own religious beliefs if you have any. If you don’t know something, it’s okay to admit that, but above all else be sensitive to your child’s emotions during this conversation. Find a comfortable place to have this important chat with your child – somewhere that is not only physically comfortable, but also somewhere they feel safe and loved. If you have the conversation about death sprung on you, do your best to remain as relaxed as possible. While showing some emotion is fine, it isn’t the time for big displays of emotion. Take your time. Part of the reason such conversations can be so difficult is because we often avoid talking about things we find upsetting. Indeed, death is frequently a taboo subject, so if you feel like you will struggle with this conversation, practice with another adult first. Use the word ‘death’ This might sound harsh to some, but by using the word death we help to avoid confusion. Think of the different words and phrases we use to say someone has died – passed, passed away, passed … Read More