Most people find death something that is uncomfortable to talk about, but knowing how to talk to children about death can be particularly difficult. If not done right, it can be a traumatic experience for both the adult and the child taking part in the conversation. You might not have considered the need to discuss death with your child, but unfortunately it is something that they will definitely have to deal with during their life. Whether your child’s first experience with death is that of a much loved pet, a grandparent sibling, parent or friend, you will still need to be prepared for the big conversation. It may be that your child hasn’t experienced the death of someone or something they love before, but they are worried about death in some way. You will still find this article useful if that’s the case for you. It can often be helpful to initiate conversation around death with your child before they experience the death of a loved one. We know it’s not easy, so before you jump in, grab a cuppa then have a read of this blog post to arm yourself with what you need to know about talking to your child about death. Before you start The first thing to remember is that death is a part of life. All living things die eventually. Plants, animals, humans… we all die. We suggest you are as honest as possible while still remaining age appropriate for the child you are speaking with. If you have the opportunity, it’s best to think about what you are going to say and how you are going to say it before the conversation takes place. Consider some of the questions your child might ask you about death and dying (we have listed some examples of questions children ask about death later in this article) and have an answer ready. How you answer may depend on your own religious beliefs if you have any. If you don’t know something, it’s okay to admit that, but above all else be sensitive to your child’s emotions during this conversation. Find a comfortable place to have this important chat with your child – somewhere that is not only physically comfortable, but also somewhere they feel safe and loved. If you have the conversation about death sprung on you, do your best to remain as relaxed as possible. While showing some emotion is fine, it isn’t the time for big displays of emotion. Take your time. Part of the reason such conversations can be so difficult is because we often avoid talking about things we find upsetting. Indeed, death is frequently a taboo subject, so if you feel like you will struggle with this conversation, practice with another adult first. Use the word ‘death’ This might sound harsh to some, but by using the word death we help to avoid confusion. Think of the different words and phrases we use to say someone has died – passed, passed away, passed … Read More
How to write a moving eulogy
When you lose someone you love, writing and giving their eulogy is a huge honour, but it’s also a huge responsibility. If you have been asked to write a eulogy but you aren’t sure where to start, don’t worry because we’ve got you covered. In this blog post, we will talk you through how to write a moving eulogy, pitfalls to watch out for, and we will arm you with tips for getting through giving the eulogy you write on the day of your loved one’s funeral. Let’s start with the basics. What is a eulogy? Simply put, a eulogy is a spoken tribute to someone who has passed away, given at their funeral or memorial service. There are no hard and fast rules as to who should give the eulogy at a funeral. The eulogy can be given by a spouse, son or daughter, grandchild, sibling or even a friend. It may fall to you by default, you may be asked to give the eulogy, or you might even volunteer to step up. What makes a good eulogy? There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to how to write a moving eulogy, but all eulogies have one thing in common; they are a final farewell and celebration of the life of the person who has passed away. A good eulogy will capture the essence of the deceased and bring them back to life in the minds of the audience, almost like they are in the room with you all. It is heartfelt, meaningful and honest. The average eulogy is 3 – 5 minutes long, and written with both the deceased person and the audience in mind. Keep the tone conversational – you are celebrating your loved one’s life and conversing with a room full of friends. There is no need for big words or grand statements. How do I start writing a eulogy? Getting started can be difficult, but it’s important not to leave writing the eulogy to the last minute. Start by considering the person you are writing about and brainstorming. Note down what kind of person they were, who their family is (spouse, sons, daughters, grandchildren, siblings etc) and who they are survived by. What was your loved one known for? Think of specific examples that characterise this. For example, if your loved one was known for their kindness, share a specific example of a time they demonstrated this. If they were known for their wicked sense of humour, think of something funny they did such as a particularly good April Fool’s prank! Decide on the tone of the eulogy you want to deliver. Remember, a eulogy doesn’t have to be sad and mournful. Depending on the person it is celebrating, it could have elements of humour or be uplifting and inspiring as well as being sad. Now it’s time to start writing. If the officiant does not introduce you, ensure you start by introducing yourself and explain your link to the deceased person. … Read More
Pre-planning your own funeral
Pre-planning your own funeral has become increasingly popular in recent years. In this article, we will explore why you may choose to pre plan your own funeral and what is involved. Why should you plan your own funeral? There are many advantages to planning your own funeral. Perhaps the biggest advantage of pre planning your own funeral is that doing so allows you to ensure that your wishes around the way your life is celebrated are respected. You are able to choose whether you are buried or cremated, whether or not your ceremony is religious and the type of coffin you will be laid to rest in, along with a host of other important details of your final farewell. You can design your service to be exactly as you wish, setting the tone for the celebration of your life with your own choice of music, songs, readings and even the dress code. By preplanning your funeral, you get to be remembered the way you wish to be. Another important advantage of having a pre-arranged funeral is that if you pre-pay for your own funeral, your loved ones are spared the stress of making arrangements in what is usually a matter of days, and paying what can add up to a large sum of money. The people you love the most will be freed of the burden of financial stress and able to grieve their loss without added worry. Finally, having a pre arranged funeral means that at any time you can change your mind about what you want. Perhaps you plan to be buried, you pre-arrange your funeral and then a few years later you decide you’d rather be cremated; that’s okay! It’s as simple as contacting us to let us know of your change of preferences. Is it weird to plan your own funeral? In short, absolutely not! In fact, planning your funeral is a final and loving gift you leave behind, easing the burden on your family of planning and paying for a funeral. In fact, more and more people are choosing to pre-pay and pre-arrange their own funeral because they don’t want their family to have additional worry and stress when they pass away. How do you pre plan your own funeral? The first step to pre-arranging your own funeral is establishing what your wishes are around the end of your life. There can be a lot to consider that you may not have thought of, so if you haven’t already, click here to read our blog post about final wishes, and download our free Final Wishes Planner to help you. Once you have established what your end of life wishes are, the next step is to get in touch with us. Childers-Woodgate Funeral Services offers pre-arranged pre-paid funerals in conjunction with Bundaberg based company Flexible Funeral Benefits Pty Ltd. To read their brochure, click here. Our friendly team will be happy to answer any questions you may have, and will walk you through the process of … Read More