Pets can be a wonderful and much loved addition to any family, however many people find coping with the loss of a pet almost as hard as dealing with the loss of a human. While Childers Woodgate Funeral Services does not offer services around pet death, burial and cremation, we understand how difficult this time can be. In this article, we’ll talk about things you can do to help cope with the loss of a pet, and different things you can do to memorialise your lost furry friend. When we lose a person that we love, other people accept our grief and are generally very understanding. Unfortunately, when we lose a pet we are not always met with the same level of understanding and kindness. Animals can be very central in our lives – they are our companions, our guides and sometimes our very best friends – however sometimes this cannot be understood by other people who can’t see why you are grieving over ‘just a pet’. As pet owners ourselves, if you’re grieving the loss of a pet, we see you and we understand. Many humans forge powerful bonds with their pets – they love you unconditionally and can make even your worst days seem better, so it makes perfect sense to grieve when they die. The Stages of Grief The stages of grief are just the same, no matter whether you’re grieving a human, an animal or a situation. Initially, you may experience denial and a feeling of numbness. This is a normal defence mechanism that protects you from the flood of emotions that come with loss. This may turn into anger – this is when reality starts to sink in, and start to feel the emotion of your loss. You might feel frustrated, helpless or cheated, and this may turn into anger directed at yourself, someone or something else or even the animal that has passed away. With time, anger may give way to bargaining. You might start to think “what if I did something differently” or “If only I had done…”. You might even find yourself trying to make a deal with a higher power, and again, this is a normal response to grief. Sadness may set in as you begin to understand the impact of your loss on your life. You might feel tearful and cry, struggle with poor appetite, experience sleep issues and feel sad, lonely and regretful. After a period of time, which is totally individual to the person who is going through the grief process, you will come to acceptance. This doesn’t mean that you are not sad, but you have accepted your loss and that you can and will move on with your life. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and no correct amount of time to grieve. Some people will grieve the loss of their pets for days, others weeks or even years. Tips for coping Reach out to someone who you know will lend a … Read More
What are the 7 stages of grief?
Grief isn’t just about death. We grieve many things – the loss of a loved one, the death of a pet, relationship breakdowns and divorce, imprisonment, injury or illness, losing a job… the list goes on. In fact, the Holmes-Rahe Stress Scale details 43 life events that can cause us to grieve. Knowing what are the 7 stages of grief is useful, because everyone goes through periods of grief in life. Note that there are also models where there are 5 stages of grief – both are useful. Having an awareness of the 7 stages of grief won’t stop you from grieving in a stressful situation, but seeing as the way we grieve might not always feel like it makes sense, it might help you to understand where you’re at, and why. We all experience grief differently – you might feel scared, angry, you may cry, or you might feel none of these. While grief isn’t linear, there generally is a pattern to the process of grieving. To begin with we need to know exactly what grief is. According to the Grief Recovery Method, “Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior.” Remember, if you’re grieving, it’s okay to feel what you are feeling, and it’s okay to reach out for help and support if you feel like you need it. You’re not alone. Scroll to the bottom of this articles for a list of places that can help you. Shock and denial This is the beginning of the grieving process. Something lifechanging has happened, be it the death of a loved, a divorce, foreclosure on your home, a change in health or something else. You might feel numb and struggle to believe what has happened. Pain and guilt This is where you might feel like the loss or change is unbearable. You might feel guilty about what has happened, or because you feel that you are a burden to others at this time. Anger and bargaining At this point you might feel angry, and lash out or have outbursts of anger. You might also bargain with god or another higher power that if they just rectify the situation, you will do anything they ask, you are desperate for them to relieve the feelings you are experiencing. Depression This can often present as a period of reflection and withdrawal. You may feel lonely and isolated. Remember, you are not alone and it’s okay to ask for help. The upward turn You may feel that you are in a calmer and more relaxed state as the feelings of pain and anger start to subside. Reconstruction and working through At this point, you will start to feel like you can begin to put the pieces of your life back together and move forward. That isn’t to say you won’t still experience moments of sadness, but you feel you can now start to put one foot in front of the other and look … Read More